Sunday, October 4, 2009

Evil Ways to Have Fun When You Have Breast Cancer-Part 1

What can I say? I have somewhat sadistic sense of humor.

1. Ask people who are enjoying a cigarette for a smoke, then tell them you have breast cancer.

2. Have a "Save the My Ta-tas" Farewell party at Hooter's. Make sure every person in the party wears a "Good-bye to My Breast-The Masectomy Tour 2009" T-shirt to the bar.

3. After losing your hair due to chemo, forgo the wigs, hats, and scarves. Wear horns like this instead. Especially when picking your kid up from preschool.

If you are uncomfortable with this option, there is always the ski-mask look. Going into retail shops and the bank might be a problem, though.

4. Stuck at the hospital for your masectomy on Halloween? Dress-up as the Grim Reaper. Make sure to wander the halls with your scythe, offering to do any reaping. "It's a Mr. Death, dear. He's here about the reaping." 

5. Wear Lipstick to Your Masectomy?  Go one better and freak out your surgical team. Crotch-less panties make a nice alternative. They won't know until after you are out cold.

6. Show up to your chemotherapy session sporting a marijuana leaf T-shirt like this. Of couse, I like this one, too.

I think bumper stickers on your car would work just as well. Just put on a pink ribbon Breast Cancer sticker and a medical marijuana sticker. Roll down the windows, crank up the Bob Marley and Grateful Dead when driving through nice, suburban neighborhoods.

7. Make sure the your chemo tech catches you reading  Final Exit.

If I can think of any more, I'll post a Part Two. Until then, have fun!!


  1. I don't know you. But I think you're fantastic. Even the worst is made better by a sense of humor....crotchless panties! LMAO

  2. OMG, Polly way to funny! Love you and appreciate the updates!