Tuesday, October 20, 2009


I'm heading out to the plastic surgeon this morning for our last appointment before surgery. Dr. Venturi will measure me, take photos (LIVE!! NUDE!! BOOBIES!!)

I have a bunch of questions about what can be done:

1. How much will the new one weigh? I know this a weird question but in the words of Bubbles on the old BBC series, Absolutely Fabulous, I've been living with "great, big, pendulous breasts," since high school. I already have back problems and was planning on getting the "girls" reduced after my final spawn issues forth.

2. Will the newbie be perkier? Really, if I'm giving up all the nerves and sense of feeling in my breast, I'd better be getting something this points up in return. (I think of it kind of like  children's bakery birthday cakes-the inside isn't that interesting but the outside looks great. Especially when covered with those impossible-to-eat rosettes.)

3. Yes, the new one will be smaller. Like a cup size smaller. (Since it was already bigger than rightie, is not a problem.) Oh, and I did figure out that they will not match after surgery. I BE SMART THAT WAY.
But I want them to match under clothes, bathing suits, or wearing a bra.

4. Can Dr. Venturi make the new one jiggle like the current model? I don't want it move like the heavily-implanted porn stars. Which means, not at all. Creepy.

5. My last and totally selfish question: Does this mean I need all new bras now?

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