Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I Have Cancer; Therefore, I Blog

Starting a blog seems to be de rigueur when you find out that you have cancer and you are under 50. It's all part of the "Cancer Rules," as follows:

1. Start a blog to inform your friends and family of what is going on, a CNN (Cancer News Network), just for you.

Nothing else could have motivated my lazy butt to start a blog. Although, I could argue that a cancer blog is lazy, too. I don't have to keep calling everyone and repeating the same info, over and over again.

2. On the day you find out that you have cancer, smiling so hard that you thought your face would crack when your 3 year-old woke up and came downstairs to find you crying on the phone.

3. Joining a Breast Cancer Support Group. Check!

4. Becoming re-acquainted with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and old freshman psych class material

5. Really getting to know my health insurance benefits. (Hey! I just found out our health insurance covers most of laser eye surgery. In fact, it's cheaper than shelling out for the annual eye exam, glasses, and contacts...but I digress)

6. Having the stress level in house go up to the point where your cats become willfully incontinent. (Thank goodness for my steam cleaner.)

7. The best excuse to do all of the little home repair stuff that CJ and I have been putting off forever. Like re-caulking the bathtub and replacing the ripped stair carpet.

Or....you can take Option B, aka the "Deer in the Headlights Approach" of Cancer Rules:

1. Hide under your covers and moan, "It's not happening, it's not happening."

2. Ignore reality and do nothing. At least not for many weeks or months.

Surprisingly, I have found their are people like this-I hate to tell them this but Option B is about as effective as denying labor pains in childbirth. Laying there and moaning doesn't work in childbirth and won't work with cancer, either.

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