Thursday, September 3, 2009

Calling Dr. Feelgood . . .

Can I just say something about these doctors we've been treking all over DC to see?

I'm not sure what kind of vortex of attractiveness we've been sucked into here, but our two surgeons, Dr. Weintritt and Dr. Venturi, must be the two most good-looking doctors in all of Northern Virginia.

Dr. Weintritt, I kid you not, looks exactly like what would happen if you crossed Elvis Presley and Frankie Avalon in their respective primes. And Dr. Venturi - well, imagine if Simon Cowell lost twenty pounds, stopped wearing too-tight T-Shirts and became personable.

Look, I have nothing against these guys for being good-looking, and believe me Polly's done the research - they're two of the best doctors in the country for this kind of surgery. It just seems remarkable that they're BOTH vying for a GQ cover shoot. Remember when doctors used to be stressed-out overweight guys who smelled of whisky and golf balls? What happened?

I keep imagining them coming into the surgery center - in slow motion - as the misty smoke of their arrival on jet packs settles in the background. As the stride towards surgery, Dr. Weintritt punches out some child abuser Clooney-style and then Dr. Venturi impregnates two women by looking at them and winking.

Okay, I'm exaggerating. They really are very good doctors with great communication and what seems like excellent staff around them as well. Say what you will about the downsides of Big-City living (the traffic, the cost-of-living, etc.), you could do worse than to be located around D.C. if you find out you've got cancer.


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